Cannes’ endless standing ovations are an embarrassment to France

get a 16-minute standing ovation from France’s cinema elite? “The Beaver,” with Mel Gibson and a 62% score on Rotten Tomatoes, a 10-minute love-fest a year earlier? Gaspar Noe’s “Love,” in which the grand finale of a sex act is filmed in 3D, also got 10 minutes of boisterous approval in 2015. Poor eventual Best Picture winner “Parasite” received a mere eight minutes.

Tom Hanks’ performance in “Elvis” was ruthlessly ripped by critics, but the film got a 12-minute standing ovation at Cannes.Nicole Kidman’s film “The Paperboy” got a 16-minute standing ovation at Cannes but was excoriated by film critics.These lemming-like displays have nothing to do with quality and everything to do with the French’s love for meaningless expirations of energy.

There’s no equivalent of this in North America. Not every premiere gets a standing-o at Sundance. Hard to leap to your feet in snow boots and a parka. The Toronto International Film Festival, New York Film Festival and Telluride aren’t praise orgies, either. At Cannes, frequently crummy movies are congratulated by tuxedoed and stilettoed industry types for allowing them the privilege of walking the red carpet alongside Uma Thurman.

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