Those tweaks, changes and re-writes resulted in a much darker film, one which vibrates with tension. Loosely translated as ‘faggot’ – with all the shame, disgust and contempt that word can embody –tells the story of Nicholas van der Swart, a closeted gay teen who, along with a trainful of his 19-year old peers, is conscripted to fight in the Angolan war in apartheid-era South Africa.
Though he wouldn’t have been conscripted himself – national service was mandated for white South Africans only – Hermanus’ own experiences inform other aspects of the film. Two-thirds of the way through the story, we drift into a childhood flashback – a breathtakingly vivid, single-shot moment which unearths the root of Nicholas’ internalised homophobia. “It’s a piece of writing that comes from my own childhood,” says the director.
The scene is fundamental to our understanding of Nicholas’ central conflict – we’re given a window into his struggles and his shame about his sexuality. “You see where he comes from,” says Hermanus, “you understand him better, his internal trauma, his workings, what he’s suppressing”. More than that, argues the director, it’s a scene that captures the driving force of the film – an experience universally understood by queer people. “Shame is a central theme of the film,” says the director.