The original joke HAD to have taken place in a movie theater, right?
...was the person firing a musket?
I don’t work with anyone who gives a shit about how loud biting into an apple is. I wish I worked with this woman.
Also a good way to cover up a fart in the office
Funny and all but, in reality, would anyone pay any attention to someone biting an apple?
Not funny.
Have to be courteous in the office
TracyWrights
Onion’s been holding this one in their back pocket for months, waiting for a week without a shooting
eleanorklake surely illegal library habits
When your daughter makes 'The Onion' ...😁
That's how it all started . . With an Apple and one byte
If you like to goof off and play with bubble wrap.
mmm, crisp apple
Even for The Onion, this is really poor taste.
Use a knife to cut it up. Eat it with a fork. Easy.
I hope she gets shot first. It should be illegal to eat crunchy food in public.
That scene from Indiana Jones
such a perfect day..
How is that even remotely funny?
Wow. I use the sound of gunshots in my neighborhood to cover up my sobbing due to my wife leaving me.
This is triggering
Remember when the Onion used to be silly and fun, and not so much 'Hey remember how awful the world is'?
Thinking this is in bad taste.
Life hack
Learned this trick in school