Film Review: ‘Primal’

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“Primal” isn’t just a title that’s been used many times, it’s now a movie that seems to have put several prior movies in a food processor — to results that are edible, but unsurprisingly don’t tast…

as a grumpier Indiana Jones-type adventurer on a boat with dangerous wild animals as well as a world-class terrorist on the loose.

The stale musk of bad latterday jungle movies like “Congo” hangs over the initial going, when Cage’s professional hunter Frank Walsh is in the Brazilian rainforest trapping critters to sell to zoos. Though he’s nearly killed doing it, he has extraordinary luck bagging an ultra-rare white jaguar that will no doubt send buyers’ bidding into the stratosphere.

At the half-hour point they have worse things to worry about, however, as to the surprise of everyone save the audience, Loffler manages to get loose. In a trice he’s begun killing military personnel and crew, dumped the ship’s freshwater supply, disabled its controls, re-set its route, destroyed the lifeboat, blocked outside communication, and commandeered weapons. He’s also liberated Walsh’s fauna, including not just that rather-too-obviously-CGI 400-lb. kitty.

Still, it all moves along slickly and tolerably enough. Powell and his collaborators have created a piece of formulaic escapism that’s professionally expert in all major packaging departments. If the movie lacks much in the way of tense atmosphere, let alone a distinctive sensibility, well, those are things that don’t necessarily arrive fully formed one’s first time in the director’s chair.

 

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I don't even know why you'd take the time to review this mess. Probably good for a laugh or 2 though...

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