'A Tear in the Ocean': The Final Days of Alexis Arquette

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Patricia Arquette (PattyArquette) mentioned the loss of her sister Alexis Arquette on stage at the Emmys. Here's a look into the transgender trailblazer's life:

, Arquette had contracted the virus more than two decades ago, when it was still considered a death sentence.

Wishing he was there was Sham Ibrahim, 37, a fellow drag performer who befriended Arquette in the dressing room of a Hollywood nightclub in 1999. Sham was a 19-year-old go-go boy, Arquette the drag-queen host. The two remained very close through the years.. "All of her friends called Cedars-Sinai but it was on lockdown and reserved for family only. I understand that, because Alexis had a lot of crazy friends.

In 2004, Arquette began taking friends aside and telling them she was starting to slowly "phase out the boy" side of her personality and live as a woman. "I didn't even bat an eyelash because it seemed so normal and natural," Ibrahim recalls. Despite that well-received debut, Alexis' openness about her sexuality gave mainstream Hollywood cold feet. "She was out and proud at 15 years old, at a time when that was just unheard of," Ibrahim says. "Directors and producers avoided her. She was rightfully angry that she should have had the success and notoriety that comes with being such a talented actor and being born into a family that presents the opportunity to you.

In 2013, amid increasing health complications, Alexis began presenting herself as a man again, telling Ibrahim that "'gender is bullshit.' That 'putting on a dress doesn't biologically change anything. Nor does a sex-change.' She said that 'sex-reassignment is physically impossible. All you can do is adopt these superficial characteristics but the biology will never change.

 

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