Moviegoer Manages To Sneak Candy Past Teenage Usher Earning $7 An Hour

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WESTBOROUGH, MA—Executing a plan he had carefully devised and practiced in his mind several times, local moviegoer Kevin Shepard managed to sneak his own candy past the teenage Regal Cinema usher earning $7 an hour Thursday, sources confirmed. “I made it. All I had to do was tuck the Crunch bar and gummy bears into my coat pocket, keep my left hand in there covering the candy, and not take it out until I sat down in the theater,” a visibly pleased Shepard said after eluding the 17-year-old boy who had gotten stoned 90 minutes earlier and who typically spends the majority of his shift texting with friends whom he often lets into the theater for free. “I decided not to bring in a soda bottle because it would’ve stuck out of my coat and risked drawing too much attention. Then I just acted totally natural by making a little bit of eye contact when I handed him my ticket. Worked like a charm.” As of press time, the 40-year-old man had slipped stealthily out the theater’s back door and was quickly hurrying to his car in hopes of safely escaping the vicinity before the usher discovered the pile of incriminating wrappers left under his seat.

 

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Must be in a place where $7 minimum wage is still a lot. Otherwise it dates this repost to at least 10 years ago. How much is the onion poster getting for this?

My daughter sneaked us in Burger King cheeseburgers to see Booksmart yesterday. Never been more proud of her.

WHATaTWIST!

It's not a coincidence then that $7 is how much a single box of candy costs

Damn, Ron Livingston, you're better than this!

Well, Kevin is the teenage usher’s father and he didn’t have to buy the movie ticket either.

Ah, as a theatre usher in my youth, I remember this well. The basic rule of thumb was just don't make it so obvious that my manager will give me grief if he comes by. Then there were the Don Jr.'s of the world, who wave it in your face, just itching for an epic power struggle.

peachykeenlishy

Lololol the usher discovered the pile of incriminating wrappers left under his seat.

Respect

Cavity search

If only I didn't need to take out a second mortgage for an oversized popcorn I'll never eat in a million years!

The crime of the century

So who found out if the usher didn't?

He’s a goddamn hero

You'd think the Usher's Acne Detector would have gone off, but it is known to fail just before an important event or party in his life...

Is that usher who earns $7 an hour like some bouncer at a bar? I don't think so. So, I'll sneak in my $1.00 Milky Way I bought at WaWa rather than pay the $6.00 for one at the snack bar. What's he gonna do about it?😂

Owned that little punk

Okay but the skittles they sell at my movie theather are 8 dollars and i could grab some a coles for 2 maybe 3 dollars the tickets are already 10 each anyways

I have a purse with a false bottom just for going to the movies.

Always wanted to try this, but the risk is too great.

is that darren rovell

Hope they fired his ass. An usher isn't a job it is a lifestyle. Other people see ushers and want to be us. Some celebs name themselves after us. We have an usher code and this kid blew it. Throw his fictional ass out on the feces covered street

This is not a photo of me, you could have just asked.

PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC

He was really sweating the possibility of a cavity search

They're medicinal Milk Duds and Skittles.

Could have bribed him with candy instead.

You are what you eat.

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