As a child, I used to think I was a superhero, having all these abilities no one else could boast of.
But you got worse, taking control of me, taking me hostage, you all cost me a lot. You cost me my friendships, happiness, and now love. Thanks to you I could not blend in. Thanks to you I lost opportunities to show all the things my mirror was tired of. You got worse and I lost everything. You isolated me, you made yourself my only companion telling me I am much better with you than I’d ever be with anyone else. Told me the only way to stay safe is to stay away before I make choices I can’t take back. You grew stronger over the years making you hard to resist.But I am tired. I am tired of shutting people out, tired of letting everyone be so envious of my supposed carefree attitude.
But now I want to re-define that. I want to be weird – weird enough to relate, weird enough to share my jokes, weird enough to be loved.You made me realize how vulnerable I could be and how that wasn’t a weakness. I learned to love first by learning to fear. And then to hate and then to heal and then I found redemption. In all these steps I found love. In all these steps I found me.I now know it’s okay to fail, it’s okay to not be where I want to be. There is a lot to live for.