Carolyn Hax: 20-year-old listens to racist rapper. Should his parent speak up?

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A parent wonders what to say to young adult son who likes a rapper’s music despite his comments attacking their race.

What do you say when your 20-year-old likes a certain rapper who advocates for the death and destruction of your/his race? Said 20-year-old does not agree with said rapper’s comments but still follows him on social media and still likes his music.

I hate that just before this chat, I was enjoying a video by my kid’s team manager — great kid, talented, works hard — set to music by a notoriously Nazi-curious performer.Here’s all I’ve got: It is a parent’s job to raise children to find their way to sound moral reasoning. It is not a parent’s job to do the moral reasoning for their children, or to get them to the point of perfect soundness today/by tomorrow/immediately upon adulthood.

So where does this land as far as advice … good question. That also depends on your kid, and how responsive he is to a parental intrusion on his thoughts. Some young adults will gratefully engage, some will eye-roll — and some are still immature enough to double down just because you butted in. That has a way of blurring even clear moral lines.

 

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