She won’t be okay: The art of truth telling

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It’s hard to decide whether to be honest and vulnerable or to provide someone with reassurance when there’s little logical place for it, writes Joanna Raven

First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines atMy mom is dying. The Stage 4 cancer is going to kill her. Soon. Her looming death sits prominently in my mind with every decision I make. And I want to know the truth.

She is terminally ill, and what I need is for people to be with my family in our time of uncertainty. I want someone to acknowledge how difficult this is, rather than to protect me from what I already know to be true. I need unconditional support and love in trying times. I need to be heard and seen. I need a medical expert to tell me – honestly and openly – what her prognosis looks like. I need to make informed decisions, and so, I need to know the truth.

And so, one day, came the question from a little girl in his class. She trusted me and to this day, I am not sure if her classroom teacher knows we had this conversation.I’ve decided to be honest, because I knew the truth.She took a moment to process this answer and then asked the question that made me throw my proverbial teacher’s college manual out the window, and the one I would reflect on as I advanced in my career. The question that reaffirmed the importance of honesty, even when it’s hard.

 

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