Owning Manhattan doesn’t seem worth the hassle. I’d rather hang the washing out

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Netflix’s latest real-estate-porn show suffers from a pervasive sense of low stakes and the surprisingly unappealing nature of the unattainable homes

than should be legal. But there’s something soothing about its take on luxury real estate: the vapid discussions between the estate agents, the midcentury houses gleaming in California sunshine, the just-for-the-camera catfights. Watching it must be what it would feel like to drop your brain into one of Wim Hof’s ice baths – a short, sharp shock followed by a blissful zoning out.

Yet that was the moment he realised he “didn’t want to lead an ordinary life”. Since then Serhant has been raring to go. So much so that in one scene, his car door is open and his foot is almost on the ground before the vehicle has even stopped. He lives such a busy life that we get scenes where his wife jets off to Greece in his absence, but the viewer is encouraged to think this is a good thing. Real estate got Serhant his lovely wife and child, he tells both her and us.

Paul Howard: I never loved an animal as much as I loved Humphrey. For 13 and a half years, he was my constant companion But the thing is, in order to keep watching a show like this, it has to score a decent amount on what I like to call the shiteometer. You have to give at least a bit of a shite about the people in it – whether that’s because you detest them or find them just about bearable – or what the show is trying to sell you. The shiteometer dips particularly low for me with Owning Manhattan.

His colleagues include a former Broadway performer who carries her dog in her luxury handbag, an apprentice who’s stuck selling tiny rental properties, and a couple who don’t seem to really enjoy working together. You wouldn’t want to be friends with any of these people, but you probably wouldn’t bitch behind their backs about them either.

Serhant is a clever man. A former actor, he knows all about the power of self-promotion. And though he spouts a lot of testicle-punching phrases, he comes off as a fairly decent guy. He’s cleverly set up a production studio in-house, but the SERHANT podcast proves to be the downfall of one particular agent.

 

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