This Nightmarish Children’s Film Had the Worst Theatrical Wide Opening Ever

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Toofie, Zoozie, and Goobie with their arms in the air in 'The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure'

The Big Picture It's no secret that a film's opening weekend dictates its future in Hollywood. Make a big splash on opening weekend, and talk suddenly turns to sequels, franchises, and Happy Meal toys. Sink on opening weekend, and you've written your own death warrant. Sink spectacularly, and you become the stuff of legend. A bad, horrific legend, but a legend nonetheless.

They're going to need the help of their friends to get the party ready on time. There's Windy Window , a magical window that has a creepy blue-faced woman who sings and talks, which is reminiscent of Jambi the Genie from Pee Wee's Playhouse. J. Edgar is a sentient vacuum cleaner . Finally, there's Ruffy , the Oogieloves' pet fish, who has the funniest lines in the whole film, like "It's fun to swim when you wake up.

The Oogieloves find the last balloon at the top of a windmill but get help from Lola , who speaks with what I think is a Russian accent for some reason, and Lero Sombrero, who communicates by drum. The pair ride a giant, flying sombrero and flamenco, only one of which is useful in getting a stuck balloon .

 

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