Patrick Freyne: On Selling the OC, Alex has the recipe for a good relationship. It’s a nice, alliterative list

Patrick Freyne: On Selling the OC, Alex has the recipe for a good relationship. It’s a nice, alliterative list – all the C-words– working title: The Hunks of Capitalism – is back on Netflix. It involves glamorous big-haired ladies and hunky gentlemen wandering stiffly around massive dolls’ houses in fancy frocks, huge heels and tight-fitting suits, quaffing champagne, talking about their problems at length and consuming resources conspicuously.

Claudia Winkleman could be in your midst right now. Security forces live in fear of the day she goes rogueThe Full Irish Hidden Camera Show understands the craic must be baited, captured and solemnly clubbed to deathvery expensive. The property one female hunk named Kayla is selling costs $28,495,000, which I’m pretty sure is a barcode, not a real price.

This does not bode well. As the episodes progress I expect to see burning oil fields, mushroom clouds and marauding Mad Max-style bikers in the “view” as the Oppenheims and their hunktastic realtors quaff cocktails and sign documents. It’s hard not to look at all those swimming pools without assuming they will eventually be used to hoard drinking water.

Does Tyler imagine he might give birth to puppies? I look at his big sad eyes and am convinced this is possible. If so, I support him. Tyler giving birth to puppies on Netflix would be significantly less grotesque than the luxury-property business in sun-scorched Los Angeles.

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