Conservatives React To Alex Garland’s ‘Civil War’

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Civil War News

Alex Garland,Julia Komnenos,Entertainment

Alex Garland’s newest dystopian film, which takes place in the not-so-distant future, follows a team of military-embedded journalists as they travel across the country during America’s second Civil War. The Onion asked conservatives how they felt about the film, and this is what they said.

Fred Gibson, Line Chef “Domestic terrorism is way more fun than they make it seem.” Paula Evans, Accountant “Really confusing. Now I’m not sure which of my neighbors I’m supposed to turn on.” Cindy Carruth, Bakery Owner “Why are we sending weapons to Ukraine when Utah desperately needs javelins to stop Vegas from advancing?” Barris Kershaw, Barber “It was insensitive to cast actors who have never even taken over a government building.

” Alex Christenson, Blogger “It really dodges the important questions of how we got there and how we could have done so faster.” Brian Dorgan, Restaurant Manager “If I have to see myself represented in the popular media by Jesse Plemons one more time…” Julia Komnenos, Nail Technician “Just another typical Hollywood fantasy where journalists don’t eat babies.” Rachel Meadows, Clerk “It wasn’t ‘Sound Of Freedom,’ so I hated it.

 

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