Why I went from wanting to hide my reproductive condition to sharing my story in a movie at TIFF

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Molly McGlynn's new film Fitting In draws inspiration from her real-life experience being diagnosed with Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser syndrome as a teenager.

, about a closeted alcoholic who makes amends with an estranged father, was more personal than I was willing to say at the time. Years later, I'm now sober. You can do the math there. at the age of 16. The condition, which some categorize under the intersex umbrella, meant that I was born without a uterus or cervix and with a shortened vaginal canal that had to be "fixed" before I was able to have penetrative sex.

For most of my life, this has been a source of shame — a fact about me that I shared with those around me in half-truths. I was afraid that the whole truth would expose what I felt for so long: that I was a partial woman, a half-formed thing, a chromosomal woman who existed in bodily purgatory. But I knew that this story needed to be told.The film focuses on a 16-year-old girl, Lindy , whose burgeoning sexuality and new relationship are both jeopardized by this nuclear bomb of a diagnosis.

Like me, Lindy is given a box of dilators and a clumsy explanation by a nurse and sent home to reckon with the absurd and private agony of needing to DIY your vagina. Lindy thinks that if she can just do this one thing, this unfixable conundrum will be solved. But the conundrum of ourselves cannot be fixed. Bodies are not the problem; the impetus to fix them without a patient's physical and emotional autonomy is.

The experience of this diagnosis prompts a barrage of questions that cannot fully be answered .

 

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