Authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy have been studying the intricacies of good and bad apologies in news, politics and literature since 2012., draws on a deep well of research in sociology, psychology, law, and medicine, breaking down the art of apologizing.
“You have to use the words, ‘I’m sorry’ or I ‘apologize,’” Ingall told CTV’s Your Morning Monday, referring to the first crucial step in any good apology. “Seems obvious. It isn’t. Do not say, ‘I regret.’ That’s about you. Do not say, ‘I’d like to apologize.’ Just do it.”“You can’t just say sorry ‘for the situation,’ or ‘for that regrettable thing last week,’ she explained. “Show that you understand why what you did was harmful.
Co-author McCarthy told CTV’s Your Morning that it’s important to explain a personal understanding of the impact you caused, and not to make excuses.The authors added that it’s important to clarify why the same mistake won’t be made again.“It could be as simple as: you’re wearing this beautiful white suit. If I spill coffee on it, I offer to pay for the dry cleaning. It could be something involving a donation to a favourite charity,” Ingall explained.