Van Leeuwen), we ask ourselves, “Can we?” when the real question worth asking is, “Should we?” Little else embodies this sentiment better than what is currently the bane of my existence as a person with taste buds: the latest wave of attention-grabbing ice cream flavors and collaborations.
Shockingly few things are as universally beloved and unproblematic as ice cream. It’s an ideal canvas for creative chefs and burgeoning entrepreneurs, a vehicle for unfamiliar flavor combinations, a welcome respite for even the pickiest eaters, and a soothing vessel of summertime and childhood nostalgia.
This whimsical approach to unexpected ice cream flavors isn’t new. But lately, it seems we’ve lost the thread in terms of what made these collaborations so invigorating, so exciting, so delightfully unserious in the first place. So, in an unapologetically selfish plea to the powers that be, I’ve laid out some simple requests for the future flavors sure to drop as part of whatever marketing stunt comes next.
Many limited-edition riffs go wrong right out of the gate by overpromising. These attempts try to be so clever that they end up missing the point, and failing to deliver on their flavor’s initial promise.
But that doesn’t mean the ice cream should be an untouched translation of its inspiration in dairy form. Take, for example, that lovely, little, night terror: Van Leeuwen’s Hidden Valley ranch ice cream. In theory, ranch dressing ice cream sounds off-putting, but it’s a combination rife with potential. But, that potential was never realized since the pints mimic the experience of consuming ranch so closely that, if not for the texture, it’d be more at home on a salad than in my freezer.
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