Shortly after Abby Norton met someone she liked on Hinge last July, the 24-year-old editor went on a two-week trip abroad. Given the different time zones, she and her potential suitor struggled to establish a texting routine while she was away, although on average there were a few texts per day.
So she decided to enlist the help of a professional in the newly emerging field of text-specific dating courses. She took a class called Texting Communication Cure Crash Course offered by licensed therapist and dating coach Kelsey Wonderlin, who is based in Nashville, Tennessee. According to Damona Hoffman, a dating coach based in Los Angeles and New York and a host of the “Dates & Mates” podcast, many people get stuck in what she calls “textationships.” Texting has become its own phase of dating, she said, and her programme, “The Dating Accelerator,” which costs US$1,297 and combines live coaching sessions and video lessons, teaches people how to avoid it.
Hoffman said it’s not surprising that people are struggling. While many people love texting for speed and efficiency, there’s a lot of room for misinterpretation. And asking friends for advice can also open up a can of worms. Although one friend might tell you to delay a response so you don’t seem too eager, another may encourage you to double text someone to show you’re interested. Confusion ensues.
Wonderlin’s video course, which costs US$333, takes students through five modules. It starts by addressing the importance of creating healthy communication early on in a relationship, then covers different types of texters – The Dry Texter, The Animated Texter, The Compulsive Texter, The Absent-Minded Texter – and helps students understand what is a red flag and what is someone’s particular texting style.
Since taking the course, “I text now with purpose and intention,” he said. “I ask questions to get to know the person and so they can get to know me. Then I make a clear plan to set a date at an appropriate time. I no longer feel the need to keep the conversation going with small talk.”
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