Unhappy landings: please Avatar, don’t ever visit Earth!

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Avatar: The Way of Water may flop, but it’s got to be better than the putative storyline promised for movie five, which is a no-no for any sci-fi franchise

? Or will they arrive on Earth as free allies, with the horrors of the RDA presumably banished to recent history? What on Pandora could have taken place in the intervening three movies to lead us to such a bizarre eventuality?

To be honest, none of this matters. For there is an unwritten rule that science fiction franchises that originate off Earth should never, ever return to the home planet, because the results are usually excruciating. Rememberthat suggested a visit to this end of the solar system was on the cards? In the end, the closest the final movie got to Earth was introducing a load of English character actors with proudly regional accents, and it was still rubbish.

Other examples of returning to Earth being a Very Bad Idea include the entirety of 1986’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, the really tedious one about the blimmin whales that spends most of its run-time with the crew of the Enterprise bumming around contemporary San Francisco looking for aqua parks.

 

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