The director heard the story about a black bear who ingested an entire duffel bag of cocaine after it had fallen out of a drug smuggler’s plane in December 1985, and decided, yes, that’ll be her next movie.Although, the movie doesn’t entirely chronicle what the OG cocaine bear got up to. He was found three months after his death, lying beside an empty bag and 40 opened plastic containers of blow.Nevertheless, his legacy is shaping up to be the best thriller of 2023, notesOh, no.
“A lot of cocaine was lost,” Ray Liotta says, nearly shaking in fear, at the beginning of the trailer. Just how much cocaine are we talking about?From the very beginning, you know what you’re in for – a bear that is completely batshit on blow. Besides his wild snarling, door-bashing, tree-vaulting, flesh-eating, and berserk behaviour, even the dialogue is primarily focused on reassuring the audience thatis very excited about this incredibly 2D-seeming premise, that being a bear on cocaine; nothing more, nothing less:
To fulfill the promise of the trailer, it needs to only be a film about a bear on cocaine. There must be no heavy-handed moralizing about the drug trade. There must be minimal realistic depictions of a bear dying from a debilitating drug overdose. There should be no subplots whatsoever. I am going to watch Cocaine Bear. I am going to pay for my own ticket. But I swear to god, if I so much as sense any dialogue whatsoever that does not directly discuss what a bear is like when it is on cocaine, I am demanding a refund.
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