Lily Coulter, a 17-year-old high school senior from Charleston, SC, isn’t sure what finally set her off last March.
Afterward, Lily tucked herself away in her bedroom for some alone time. She sat down at her beloved piano and got lost in her music for a few hours. After some time, she was able to calm herself down. Next year, Lily plans to leave home for her first year of college. Lily’s mom is already nervous about that. “She’s put pressure like this on herself since kindergarten. I worry how she’ll cope if we’re not there.”The scenario is all too common, says psychologist Madeline Levine, PhD, author of Ready or Not: Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World. Kids like Lily feel the weight of academic pressure more than ever before, Levine says.
Avoid sole focus on grades. “If you’re only focused on grades, you end up having an 11-year-old who’s thinking they’re only as good as their last performance,” she says. Have dinner with your kids whenever possible. It’s a good chance to listen for problems and get ahead of them so they’re easier to deal with. It’s also important for your child to know that the family unit is protective against stress. The family is there no matter how school is going.