“Simple. Lake wins.
needs a new anchor. I step up. I am beloved. The public reveres me. The news bends to my will. I purge the entire studio and assume control of all media operations. I am the news. I control all broadcasts, including the weather forecast. I am weatherman. I control the weather. I am the weather. Tides bend to my will. It thunders when I command thunder. I am become God. It’s foolproof.”
Her ever present soft filter during video interviews reminds her voters of their favorite high school senior photo.
If she were a Democrat, the gop would accuse her of looking butch.
Ham and the possibility of more ham
People complaining about The Onion lampooning the shittiest candidates since Jesse Helms are also the ones bitching about Star Trek, Rage Against The Machine, and Willie Nelson for being woke.
Americans telling the onion how funny they used to be before the became political pawns.
Remembering a time when the onion used to be funny and nonpartisan...
The Onion isn’t even remotely funny anymore. I recommend that you don’t bother paying $8 for your blue check
And the Onion wonders shy noone cares about them any more. Where is the funny?
The grandma one 🤌🏻🤌🏻
Is it the 90's softcore porn-style lighting she uses?
A pretty face; a cold blooded heart. A female Dorian Gray.
Traitor is the new patriot.
You are doing God’s work, The Onion
Because the groomer generation and their enabling pedoboomers are buzz kills
Can’t fix stupid 🙄
I am supporting the GOP because I want my Social Security and Medicare entitlements CUT; I want fewer Latino immigrants in the US; I want to take away women's rights; and I want Trump as President because of his lawlessness.
This is what this hack thinks of her followers
This might be the first time The Onion isn’t funny.
It would be like the onion trying to convince us all that they’re not far left….
You tell 'em!!!
Truth be told if she wasn’t so attractive, she wouldn’t have the pull. Rs seem to cherish that. They make fun of others. Too bad she’s so ugly on the inside
I don't like all this democracy and think' and such. Let's let some washed up news anchor tell me what to do!
cry in silence lefties.
For a moment I thought this was real until I realized it was That shows you how bad things are these days. RepublicansAreDestroyingAmerica
Sad, because she's a liar
RevLedet
Funny in a very sad way..I'm terrified she will get elected .. She has PayPal behind her.
Babylon BeeThe Onion
This what happens when women try comedy
If only women's rights weren't so COMPLICATED!
Trump 2024
She's awful and cannot beat Hobbs. CANNOT! She's so artificial and glib... makes me sick.
Onion= Childish. When the competition is outclassing you, call them names, stomp your feet and tell lies.
“Kari Lake’s proposal to annex Lake Superior for the residents of Arizona is the right balance between imperialism and grit.” -Dusty Lawson (Pool Construction Manager)
Man the GOP sure do love them some carpetbaggers.
Most said it was her blue dress.
This sadly wasn’t funny.
'I'm not voting because its rigged anyway'? Thats my guess I'm too lazy to actually read it
“She’ll uphold cruel abortion restrictions, which may increase my chances of becoming a grandmother.” I have zero doubt that some actually think this way.
Go back to being funny and satirical, plz! This is a nightmare timeline where the onion speaks the truth!!!
Omg. Hilarious
That was perfect! 🤣
What the hell is going on out here in the desert? We've got a weatherman who thinks he knows things (he doesn't) and our neighbors are trotting out the desk candy?
“She’s switched political affiliations so many times there’s a good chance she’ll eventually come around to socialism.” Okay but this makes an odd amount of sense.
The MAGA cult is a gift that keeps on giving to the comedy world 😂