Disappointing Box Office Numbers For ‘Bros’ Force Biden To Ban Gay Marriage

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WASHINGTON—In response to the disappointing box office numbers for the LGBTQ rom-com Bros, President Joe Biden was left with no choice Thursday but to ban gay marriage, White House officials confirmed. “This feature film written by and starring Billy Eichner experienced a dismal opening weekend, and so I have been…

, President Joe Biden was left with no choice Thursday but to ban gay marriage, White House officials confirmed.

“This feature film written by and starring Billy Eichner experienced a dismal opening weekend, and so I have been compelled to take the difficult action of ending all marital unions between same-sex partners throughout the United States,” Biden said as he signed an executive order nullifying all existing gay marriages and prohibiting all future ones, explaining that his hands were tied in light of the fact thatwould struggle to generate a profit given its disastrously low ticket sales.

 

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Dbazed_ Best movie is firebird

BrosMovie ain’t holding strong like SmileMovie

Idk this one doesn't hit for me tbh

I think your timing is off. There are still people who don't understand satire. Maybe hold 'till after the election?

That's a shame I heard it reviewed well but I guess I shouldn't put too much faith in cinema reviews. I like the trailers but I guess people just didn't wanna hear a whiny dude as the protag..

Not as good as your brief, sorry.

I guess that's fair.

😂🤣😂

Not enough crystal meth use for my liking

Babylon Bee, is that you?

I don’t get it.

This is cringe.

cameronihu

joshhunt gabmedblack lol 😂

I heard it really stinks..like a gay man’s pecker.

richiexcx Ban white gays

iamsofabl RaposoWins cabe a vcs salvar os gays

giangyhai Omg lmao

Watched Dahmer- that shit is gaaayyyy. Billy Eichner should take notes

Gays always ruining everything for the gays.

kamilumin about time!

giangyhai please tell me this is not real

We wish

Didn't realize you guys were still around

Billy Eichner threw the first stone at gay marriage

notsocialfish

Aw man :/

So this is the onion… 🙄 but honestly why are we trying to straight-wash gay culture?! You want the gays to jump on board? Do an OF account not some hallmark movie version of let’s include everyone with a few jokes sprinkled in.

Rakishthief Ya we had that coming! 😭🌈😂

In surprising twist, 'Bros' so bad 1 of its 3 audience members converted to straight.

What's the joke?

He and his shit movie bombed and he can't take accountability for this train wreck of a movie. Typical woke liberal!!

Thought that was punk revolution now for a second

He did what he had to 😞

🤣😅😅😅😅😅🤣👍🏼👍🏼

Divinecomics team doesn't support these hateful comments and we don't support incest. Check out volume2

WrittenByHanna

I'm actually very excited to see this movie, but movie theaters suck, and I live in LA. I can't afford to pay for the 'movie going experience'. I can buy a slushie at 7-eleven and wait for it to stream.

wowww 😭

I only know Billy from 'Billy on the Street.' Ten seconds of that show annoyed me enough that I just can't watch him in anything.

Yeah, it's not like in the 80's when hetero men were real man's men...

Enough time for everyone to get married already. The issue would've been of he banned gay divorce

Tough, but fair

DON'T TELL BILLY!!!

Ok but can we do this irl like no joke

We deserve it

Spoilers...

Well at least we lasted longer than the Confederacy. Also, never heard of 'Bros.' That pic looks pretty hot. I'll have to check it out.

billyeichner look what you did!!!!!!

Is it just 90 minutes of Billy screaming? I've only seen him play the one character

If he thought it would win the midterms for the Dems...

christoaivalis No gay marriage 😡

DO THE REMAKE WITH 2 WOMEN WATCH THE NUMBER GO UP...

simply no other choice to be made

. billyeichner . Hey bruh, not a homophobe, I just NEVER choose Rom-Coms when I go to the movies. Further, I cant relate to homosexual love so I have zero interest in it. Your comments come off extremely ignorant and heterophobic. Cc: Billy Eichner

Biden: ya ya ya gotta have maybe, I dunno, that gay guy with the mustache. John waiters. Oh, right, Waters. John Waters. Good ol’ Johnny. (Grabs forehead) anyways, can someone explain to me what “docking”is (he then leaves before someone can answer his qs)

Now, if you re-did it as 'Janes', with some of that sweet girl on girl action, it would have played well in Red states.

Are you even trying? 🤨

Such a gay response from Biden.

Wonder why? Perhaps the problem is heterosexuals find such images unpalatable? Maybe, it's because homosexuals are a minority, and even then they might not want to watch tripe like this.

Well, it was a good run.

i understand, billy eichner was bound to cause this

Anyone remember when The Onion used to be funny?

You would think so from listening to Billy Eichner whine.😏

Related: Gay Men Admit They Didn't See Film Because They Heard It Not Very Good

let the mems begin

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