My Friend Naomi Judd Dealt With Crippling Depression -- The Same Kind That Took My Brother's Life

But I did survive. I showed up for my family and learned to grieve in real time and let the tears flow. I learned that grief makes time elastic and causes physical strain on the body that requires rest. The muscle memory of that experience now serves me again as I come to terms with losing Naomi Judd, the country music superstar who became my friend and mentor.

In the Eighties, I was obsessed with the rich and famous. That fascination was a huge part of my escape, so Naomi Judd’s flashy outfits and the duo’s beauty and larger-than-life personalities were a clarion call to me. Yet the Judds’ blood harmonies and acoustic music also tapped into the hymns I was singing with my extended family on Sundays at my grandmother’s rural church.

In order to paint the Judds in the best light and make them seem worthy of induction, my instinct at the outset was to scrub everything but the music, because Naomi’s candor and the tabloid stories that accompanied that candor overshadowed the music time and time again. Nashville is a town historically built on baring the hard side of life in song, but God help you if you’re a woman living out those songs.

In my grief over losing my brother, I followed Naomi’s example of shedding light on the dark places. I started interviewing his friends to try to piece together the story of my brother’s life. David only showed certain sides of himself to certain people, but no one had the full picture of who David was and what he was going through towards the end of his life.

But now I have no choice but to stop and really listen to what Naomi was saying and realize the tour and the fame and the Country Music Hall of Fame induction were not the panacea I thought they were for her. Same as with my brother, I can only be present and listen to the struggle and offer support, but I can’t go inside their heads and fix any of it.

Showtime Going to hunt down everyone who ever knew her too so you can deliver another low blow 2 months from now like you did with Taylor Hawkins?

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