DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at my daughter’s house. While she and my son-in-law were working in their bathroom, my two grandsons and I were in the den. The boys were on their tablets and I was watching an episode of a reality show, which was almost over. Mind you, I had never seen this show before and I was very much into it.My daughter says to me, “Mom, Buck wants to watch the news!”My grandson then says, “We always watch the news.
I texted her and said I wanted to put an end to the silence. I have gotten angry with them in the past for disrespecting me, as well, and I brought it up in my text. She stated that they just don’t want to be around me because they don’t know when I’m going to drop a ball. I told her I will drop a ball when I am disrespected.GENTLE READER: Are you?! Miss Manners has her doubts.
Despite the exclamation points, it seems clear to Miss Manners that once your feelings were known, your family quickly surrendered the TV. It is you who then refused their kindness and made it into an issue of respect. Not being familiar with any previous patterns of dropping balls -- or bombs -- Miss Manners nevertheless feels inclined to believe your daughter. She urges you to check your definition of “disrespect” and distinguish it from “compromise.” Employing the latter will go a long way toward maintaining family harmony.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a genuinely kind co-worker who constantly talks over my sentences. Not surprisingly, she also doesn’t listen to what I am able to say.