How 'You Are Not My Mother' Shows the Horror of Society's Failure To Support Those Living With Mental Illness

The newly released Irish horror film You Are Not My Mother, which was originally shown at the 2021 Toronto International Film Festival, is a multifaceted work of existential dread. The debut feature film from writer-director Kate Dolan is a story about family, paganism, and what happens when we lose those we love. Specifically, it is most curious about how we can lose them not to death, at least not right away, but to the horrors within their own mind.

The child, Char , has more than her own share of problems she is facing down, especially at school where she faces relentless bullying. This is made worse by the fact that her mother Angela is not able to take care of herself or her daughter. An early scene in a car ride on the way to school sees Char try to gently ask her mother if she can get food at the store so that they will have something to eat at home.

The strength of the film comes in not just these effective scenes but in the broader thematic significance. As it reveals the growing weight being placed on Char and how she must bear the brunt of the challenges of caring for her mother with minimal resources, we realize how her individual struggle is the result of a collective failing.

Without taking away from the lasting impact that the film finds in its conclusion, it doesn’t provide all that many definite answers even as it does find a tentative peace. However, even as it offers a small glimpse of hope, it still makes explicit how fragile things remain for the family that remains largely left to fend for themselves.

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