Harriette Cole: I’m fine with my husband’s affair. It’s the gossip that bugs me.

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I’m tired of people telling me to leave him.

Point out that several people have come to you with this information in an attempt to get you to leave him. Unless he is planning on leaving you, implore him to get his act together. Ask him to be more discreet moving forward.I am in love with my best friend. I’m scared to tell her because I fear she may end our friendship.

We have been friends since childhood, and we’ve always gone to each other about relationship issues. Now that I have realized she’s the only woman I want, I get jealous when she tells me about other guys. I don’t even think she realizes I’ve been single for over two years now because I’m in love with her. Should I tell her how I feel?What do you have to lose — really? If you say you could lose your friendship, I will counter: How real is your friendship now if you are choosing not to reveal to your “best friend” how you feel about her, even as it is affecting your social life.

Look at your options closely. If you tell her your true feelings and ask her to give the two of you a chance, at least you have put it out there how you feel and what you want. She can then consider your offer. If she says yes, explore and see what happens. If she is uninterested, you have to make a choice. And it needs to be an honest one.

Can you remain friends with her in a strictly platonic way when you truly are in love with her? Is it possible for you to live your life fully and give her space to live hers if the two of you cannot be a couple? This is a tough question to answer, but it is one that is required to give you and your friend peace of mind.

 

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