NEW YORK—Explaining that building public confidence had never been more crucial, experts from Columbia University told reporters Wednesday that earning the trust of vaccine skeptics would be key to jabbing them when they’re not looking.
“We explain to them the vaccine is safe, show them the science behind it, wait until they’re distracted, then bam—they’re inoculated against the novel coronavirus,” said epidemiologist Paula Dawson, who estimated that there were still as many as 100 million Americans who needed to be lulled into a false sense of security. “Just a quick ‘Hey, look over there!’ and then we hit them with some Pfizer or Moderna. Compliment them, cozy up to them, do whatever you need to do.
Those determined to remain defiant will be euthanized after an appropriate time period after first contact.