CHICAGO—Seconds after the room had erupted into cheers, applause, and a few big sighs of relief, sources confirmed Tuesday that a local group of friend’s jubilant reaction to Donald Trump’s defeat had soured quickly upon the announcement of Joe Biden’s victory.
“One moment we’re celebrating our nation’s repudiation of Trump, and the next Biden is declared the winner—what a buzzkill,” said 29-year-old Ryan Lopez, whose smile had visibly faded to weariness as the former vice president and retired six-term senator appeared on television to celebrate with his family.
The write-in campaign for anyone but the party candidates was an overwhelming disaster
You Onion guys need to get over the Bernie loss and move on. I know you love him, but it's time to acknowledge that Biden was the only democrat who could have won.
you will miss our führer
Trump: “All unreasonable people agree.”
Ha ha. Except not satire. Real.
Since when did the onion start releasing real news?
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂
You forgot the satire on this one..
Biden will never be president. Remember this tweet.
Still would have had a jubilant reaction if satan had won!
Not your best work, Onion.
😂
Very relatable
Biden voters would be really dissapointed if they existed.
The onion hasn't been funny for at least 5 years now
*Insert “the Onion used to be satire” comment here*
Nothing will fundamentally change, The Onion will keep posting real news.