Man Falsely Imprisoned For 24 Years Granted Permission To Serve Out Remainder Of Term In New Wrongfully Accused Wing

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ANGOLA, LA—Following over two decades of incarceration, Louisiana Penitentiary inmate Reggie Clark, a man falsely imprisoned for 24 years, was finally granted permission Wednesday to serve out the remainder of his sentence in the prison’s new Wrongly Accused Wing. “This was an unacceptable miscarriage of justice, which is why we will be immediately moving Mr. Clark to our new state-of-the-art facility for those who should have never imprisoned here in the first place,” said warden Brent Albertson, confirming that a transfer to the multimillion-dollar section of the prison came with a number of privileges including an additional 20 minutes in the yard per day as well as expanded access to a cell phone and major discounts from the prison commissary. “While we will never be able to fully make up for the harrowing experience endured by Mr. Clark in gen-pop these last 24 years, we hope spending the next few decades in a brightly lit, Art Deco-inspired building hobnobbing with other innocent prisoners will help begin the healing process.” At press time, Albertson noted that the crown jewel of the new wing was an expansive rooftop garden containing the bodies of death row prisoners who had been posthumously exonerated.

ANGOLA, LA—Following over two decades of incarceration, Louisiana Penitentiary inmate Reggie Clark, a man falsely imprisoned for 24 years, was finally granted permission Wednesday to serve out the remainder of his sentence in the prison’s new Wrongly Accused Wing. “This was an unacceptable miscarriage of justice, which is why we will be immediately moving Mr.

he crown jewel of the new wing was an expansive rooftop garden containing the bodies of death row prisoners who had been posthumously exonerated.

 

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jadesaisquoi

ah yes, P R O G R E S S, ain't it beautiful

First don’t like that story thats confusing. Political people make that their justification. Being not quilty doesn’t mean build a your innocent so fuck you wing to stay in. Federal laws aren’t ment for state judges to sleep at the wheel

Wait what.....? I read this article about 5 times I still don’t understand. But no seriously I don’t understand.

Why not just release them!!! Am i missing something I honestly think these half wits that makes decisions lose all common sense. I have no more words.....

Man this thread is popular with people who don’t know what the onion is

RioSlade Love The Onion, lol.

Oh wow isn't that nice of them 😠

Why is he not immediately freed from jail altogether?

WHAT THE FUCK, FREED THE MAN 😡🤬😡

New what ?

This is one of those that feels too real, gut wrenching.

This is a joke right?!

When’s he serving time

Justice. Finally. 🙏

💔

At least he'll be imprisoned with innocent people and not surrounded by criminals.

Look at that place! Spotless. Can I live there?

Read this On sale now . . .

This seems akin to divorced dudes who remarry.

Is this article a joke? Because if it’s not, it is a TERRIBLE INDICTMENT of so called, “American justice!”

Ah, prison reform at it's finest!

This is just caging of humans for profiteering private companies and state protectionism and control

I’ll represent him with a 4,000$ retainer

Many innocents are sent to Death Row and in some cases executed for not being able to face an effective legal defense. The State has resources that are impossible for a normal family to face. BrowardCounty wrongfulconviction (Photo ManoloAguilera_ elmundoes )

Well done !

Is this some third world country or?

Its sad that the truth of this situation can only be quelled by comedy...

Conruthhoward The 'Joe Biden' wing?

Bro he’d better be gettin’ that extra premium grub tho. Ngl that wing sounds like fun

'One more free fire fighter, score!' -Vice President Kamala Harris

From the Formalize the Informal file.

Good ole AmeriKKKa...that's how it goes here

lol that's just wrong, but funny.

It’s getting pretty crazy out there.

LewisBuchanan02

Update: they've had to build a second wing to keep up with demand.

Is that OJ Simpson 😂

The Kamala Harris wing

The name of the new area has been renamed the Left Wing

Is there health insurance?

I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂

I thought the onion was satire

The Onion is legit now.

Seems fair. justice

Oof

Cordilleran_ Thankfully this is the onion n not real🤔

So used to this headline, I thought it was real until I saw it was the Onion 😂

I know this is supposed to be funny but it’s 2020 and this is believable 🤦🏻‍♂️

Sounds like 'The Joebiden Plan'

😩😩😩

Wow they built a whole wing, nice

Yeah, I mean. What should the ceos who benefit from prison slavery do? Free the wrongly accused? 😂😂 Pfft

Word is they have brownies.

If you can't do the time then don't do the unacceptable miscarriage of justice.

How bout releasing him.

Poor guy, his farts now sound like an old man dry heaving.

It's good to know that the government is taking the time to notice these falsely imprisoned convicts and giving them their own benefits!

Pretty sure that wing is already overflowing with the children of asylum seekers.

they don’t miss

The kamala Harris wing?

Pfft, not gonna happen to me. These stupid feds don't even know I got my heelies on 😎

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