‘Milwaukee Is A Great City On A Great Lake,’ Says Tom Perez Eating Digital Bratwurst During Virtual DNC Tour

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MILWAUKEE—In fulfillment of a promise made to local officials, the avatar of party chair Tom Perez called Milwaukee “a great city on a great lake” and ate a digital bratwurst Thursday while leading a virtual tour of the Democratic National Convention’s host city. “I’ve been working hard to elect Democrats in 2020, but I’m glad I found time to explore everything this realistic, computer-generated simulation of Milwaukee has to offer,” a low-resolution image of Perez said as it squirted a pixelated stream of mustard onto a German-style sausage and moved through a partially rendered background that appeared to be the city’s RiverWalk. “This delicious local cuisine is really something else. I think I’ll wash it down with an ice-cold Miller Genuine Draft, made right here in Brew City. Now move your cursor over and click on the Milwaukee Art Museum to check out some 75-d.p.i. scans of paintings by Wisconsin native Georgia O’Keeffe.” At press time, Perez was reportedly attempting to reboot his tour program after a glitch trapped his avatar in the middle of Lake Michigan.\n

MILWAUKEE—In fulfillment of a promise made to local officials, the avatar of party chair Tom Perez called Milwaukee “a great city on a great lake” and ate a digital bratwurst Thursday while leading a virtual tour of the Democratic National Convention’s host city.

“I’ve been working hard to elect Democrats in 2020, but I’m glad I found time to explore everything this realistic, computer-generated simulation of Milwaukee has to offer,” a low-resolution image of Perez said as it squirted a pixelated stream of mustard onto a German-style sausage and moved through a partially rendered background that appeared to be the city’s RiverWalk. “This delicious local cuisine is really something else.

 

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Nice and very smart symbolism. Thanks

Mustard on a brat. Just like God intended. Only people that hate America put ketchup on them.

Oh Happy Days! Dontcha know?

HL1 looking motherfucker

Bravo, Milwaukee. please put sour kraut and horseradish on mine. yummy. p.s., vote for JoeBiden and KamalaHarris.

Still love The Onion but The Bee is killing you guys atm. 🐝 🧅 TheBabylonBee

hilarious. DNC2020 is grateful to covid19 for preventing Biden voters from descending on Milwaukee and conducting days of unspeakably violent peace attacks. doublespeak 1984 DemocraticNationalConvention

He should eat digital shit

CSS_Sporklab wow

GoldmanSachs64

Digital Bratwurst is a top tier band name.

Onion please spread the word that Dinosaurs are coming back on September 2nd you could save countless lives with your platform. dinosaursarecomingback

I love how shitty the thumbnail looks. Really fits

my favorite Goldeneye character

Is virtual puke a thing?

nickbaltz

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