The first time Stansell came out publicly was attour,” says Stansell, 33. He was also juggling his studies as a senior at the conservative Belmont College in Nashville. He wasn’t out there, and he wasn’t out to his conservative parents. But he had found a support system for the first time. “I had queer friends in my life,” he says. “And I had a boyfriend.”
His coming out experience to his parents, both conservative Christians, would not go as well. He visited them in North Carolina for his nephew’s birthday. His mom picked him up at the airport. They went to a Mexican restaurant. “You could tell she just wanted to ask,” he says. “And she did: ‘Do you think you're gay?’ And I said, ‘Mom, I know I'm gay.’ ”
Stansell says his relationship with his family isn’t good today. “It’s not a closed door, it’s more revolving,” he says with a laugh. He hopes it will stop spinning.