The Angry Email Men Sent Me Over and Over

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Talking about masculinity as a man can quickly lead to an assumption: “These people hate being men.”

There’s a saying in organizing spaces that those who are oppressed are closest to the solution. And if you listen to those who are oppressed, whether it be women, whether it be folks who live in formerly colonized countries, whether you listen to people of color, that involves ceding power. And when that happens, it gets deeply uncomfortable, and it’s actually painful, but that’s the point. Trash means you’re throwing something out—literally. You don’t need it anymore.

Thinking of all the criticisms and the responses and the things people have said to you and all you’ve learned from doing this show, if there was one takeaway, one particular thing that you’ve realized and that you would really hope that people take home with them from listening to this show over 40 episodes, what would it be?I do read the comments, and there’s this one particular comment that gets said over and over and over.

If the only way for us to criticize masculinity is if we’re also at the same time praising it so that those kinds of people don’t feel threatened by it, then we have so much more work to do than I originally thought.

 

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