Absolutely, and I think I have a unique vantage point. I try not to make my own ethos so loud and clear, but clearly porn is judged in a way that is not correct. This is something that has a very wide viewership. It doesn’t cause the kind of harm that the ring wing has always said it does. Say what you will, but if you don’t like seeing sex, you don’t have to watch it.
I think many people consider their lives and families to be fascinating, but you have successfully argued that yours is, with this movie. At what point did you realize you had a documentary on your hands?I always thought I had a documentary. It was just a question of what kind of documentary and the extent of my own family being incorporated into it. Whenever you make a documentary, I think it’s your job to find the story and let the footage tell you what’s going to be the most compelling thing.
I also had another really great producer, Cynthia Childs, who worked with me in the beginning almost as a co-director. I had to not be present in some of the moments with my mom and dad on camera because I knew they would not be so forthcoming in some of the interviews, so I would not be in front of the camera asking the questions.
I went in thinking I was going to tell a story of the West Coast history of gay liberation from the perspective of Circus of Books, and if this film lived and died in the annals of theand LGBTQ historical records, I would have been totally satisfied. I wanted to make sure I did something for the history books, for queer history. That was it. That was my goal and I was going to move on to my other art projects and musical endeavors.
I think she spent so many years being so deeply self-conscious. On the surface, she understands that it’s doing something, but I think it’s just a really hard thing when you’ve absorbed this internalized predicament for so many years to suddenly shift gears and celebrate it. She feels like she’s being forced out of the closet, is what she told me. She wishes the film was about anybody except her. She’s had to be on these stages enduring standing ovations that she doesn’t understand.
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