Of Simon Cowell’s many contributions to civilisation – see also Jedward, Susan Boyle and Piers Morgan’s career in America – surely the most enduring will be the alliance of Harry, Niall, Louis, Zayn and… the other one . It was during the 2010 run of The X Factor that Cowell decided to assemble a Voltron-like pop behemoth out of five skinny teens slathered in Brylcreem. What followed was the 21st-century version of The Beatles, with better hair, tighter trousers and not a single memorable tune .
That's idiotic. The Irishman should be 3 and a half hours, because is has to be 3 and a half hours. And no coffee breaks! Are you going to demand reediting James Joyce's Ulysses to a 100 pages, consisting of sentences of max ten words, each of max four letters?
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